Guest Post: 6 Lies Society Tells Men and Women

I enjoy Jenna Marble’s videos Things Boys Don’t Understand, but they do gender stereotype men. (And we all know how I hate gender stereotypes). The things I think “boys” don’t understand is less about the sex of the person, but more a social awareness issue. And a lot of these issues come from messages society tells specifically to boys. As I heard Gloria Steinem herself say, “It’s not about biology, it’s about consciousness.” So, to make some generalizations based on my own observations, here is a list of things I think the typical, stereotype of a male doesn’t understand.

1. “Hot girls” are not another species of human completely devoid of insecurities and other human emotions. Putting a “hot girl” down because you think she must get complimented all the time, acting aloof and uninterested to attract attention, and being rude or mean because you assume she’s catered to will NOT work. She will assume you’re uninterested because she’s a human being who responds normally to social cues. And if you’re rude and aloof, she’ll just think you’re rude and aloof and not attracted to her, NOT be shocked and astounded by someone not being into her. This person designed by Hollywood DOES NOT EXIST. No one is so over-confident and blind to think every person they encounter will be in love with them. That’s not even “confident,” it’s delusional.

2. Not every woman over 30 wants to trap you in a loveless marriage and have your babies.

3. Woman are not complicated. In fact, we’re pretty much the same as you. So just pretend like we’re people (crazy, I know), and just want to be treated like you want to be treated, and suddenly it will all seem so much easier. We’re not some magical mythical creatures that have to be manipulated into liking you or sleeping with you, then manipulated into getting rid of. If a woman hooks up with you, it’s probably because she wanted to, not because she thought you were a knight in shining armor sent to save her from her life and now she’s going to cling to you like plastic wrap. So no need to panic about how to get rid of her later. She’s a descent, normal person you are attracted to. Your penis is not a magical tool that makes people love you or turns women into crazy, clingy she-devils.

4. Society tells men that all they want is sex and tells women that all they want is security, and neither of these are true. Men and women both want both of these things, and neither one is enough by itself. What we all really want is to be connected to each other. For a lifetime or a for a night, depending on what place you’re in emotionally in your life. And as long as you’re honest and communicative, it’s not “wrong” to want whatever it is you want at the moment. It’s not wrong to just want to hook up as long as you don’t pretend to want a relationship to get access to someone’s genitals, and it’s not wrong to want a relationship as long as you’re not hoping that by giving someone access to your genitals you’ll be able to convince them to be with you. (Though in this case you’re probably only going to hurt yourself.)

5. Just because gender roles are stupid and out of date and girls will text or call you first or ask you out doesn’t mean they always want to be the one reaching out. No one wants to always be the chaser, girl or guy. Not because “turns” matter, but because they’re probably unsure if you even want to see them since you never make an effort to do so and just meet up when they ask and have nothing better going on at the moment.

6. You know how you’ll have an idea for a big project and get really excited about it but then when you actually sit down to do it it seems like way too much work and then give up immediately? Relationships can be that way sometimes. One person freaks out about how much work it will be and gives up while one person is putting in effort and then it switches. No one’s favorite thing is to be the one putting in effort, ever (girls too). So don’t always be the one getting the rewards of effort, and never be the one putting it in. (This goes for both sexes equally. I’ve seen many girls and guys always being the receivers of effort and not the givers.)

Most list blogs are usually some multiple of 5, I know, but currently I can think of these 6 things, so there you have it – 6 lies society tells boys. Here is Things Boys Don’t Understand Part 2 and Things Boys Don’t Understand Part 3 by Jenna Marbles, who is hilarious, though I don’t always agree with everything she says.

Originally published on Aud Comments. Republished with permission.

As well as a member of OK Nerdy Girls, Audrey Lentz is a poet, creative writer, and freelance writer and editor. On her blog, she writes about feminist issues, literature, and current events. Follow her on Twitter @audrey_lentz

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